New beginnings

Moving to a new area and starting a new job...my emotions run the gamut. There are moments of joy and disbelief of reality. There is a great deal of humbling and pure exhaustion of starting over, of having no history. There are wonderful surprises. There is an intense amount of learning.

There are days when I feel overwhelmed with missing aspects of my life prior to my move to the UK. There are days when I can't stop smiling. The ups and downs are tiring. Some evenings result in tears and wanting to just curl up in bed for long periods of time. Thankfully the roller coaster ride won't last forever. This post is not meant to invoke empathy. I like focusing on the positive but I think it is appropriate in this blog to be true to my experience.

I think what is really bothering me is that the person I am at the moment is not the best version of me. I suspect it is because I don't feel I have my footing. I am scrambling at the moment. Having difficulty making decisions. Struggling to find ways to follow my priorities in life. Letting too much self doubt creep in. It does require patience when going through big changes. Rarely does change happen overnight. Although my life in Glasgow seems like ages ago, it has only been a few months. A reminder that I need to give myself time to adjust. I have some other ideas as well and I hope I will get back on track...feeling like I am being a better friend, daughter, colleague, neighbour, bus seat mate...

It was five years ago when I first came to Shetland. I had no conscious thought of trying to move to the UK at that time. I remember watching Lerwick, lit by a sunbeam, disappear on the horizon from the ferry heading south and thinking that my story with Shetland was not complete. I was thinking another holiday (which turned into another holiday and on and on). How different my life is now. How much has happened in the last five years. I never imagined how much could be packed into five years - planned and unplanned experiences. The only thing I know for certain is I have no idea what the next five years will bring.